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- Category: Current Issue
The other day I opened the shower door and successfully tossed my empty bottle of shampoo across the bathroom into the small garbage can. Yet, just yesterday, I dropped a paper towel onto the floor, completely missing the wide-mouthed trash bin I was standing over. Aside from feeling frustrated that my aim was so poor, this got me thinking about the frequency with which this occurs. Why is it that I usually hit my target when it is more of a challenge versus missing when the target is very close? As I kept thinking about it, the answer became clear: We hit the targets we aim for and often miss the ones we take for granted!
The shampoo example is a simplified version but, I feel, subtly appropriate. For example, if I aim to complete all of my schoolwork by a certain time so that I can enjoy a weekend away, I do it. If I consider that I will enjoy my weekend away regardless of whether or not I fully complete my schoolwork, chances are that I won’t. Even if I complete nearly all of it, if I have to edit an ‘almost finished’ paper when I return home, I will not fully enjoy my weekend away.
In considering this concept further, I realized that this is also true for our social and personal relationships. When we aim our focus on creating and fostering a healthy relationship, we usually end up with one. Conversely, when we take a relationship for granted, chances are that we miss our goal. A young child never takes for granted that their parent is always there, always behaving in ways, such as crying, which attract and/or require attention. When children get older, especially teenagers, they take for granted that their parents will always be there. Here is when the relationship is most likely to suffer. That is, of course, until the teenager wants something…
And so, this morning, with my newly discovered epiphany, I took an egg, cracked it gently on the edge of the counter and aimed for the hot spot directly in the middle of the pan. Despite my focused efforts, the raw egg spilled out to one side of the pan, leaving a long and quickly crackling streak of white across the entire rim. In my attempt to gently flip the egg over onto its other side while still keeping the egg yolk soft, I aimed my spatula carefully under the widest part of the cooking egg and promptly broke the yoke sac. What the #*#*! Why was this happening? After all, I was focusing my attention and trying not to take my egg-cooking skills for granted by carefully aiming my egg cracking and spatula flipping to the exact middle of the pan and the egg, respectively. And that’s when I realized that I was aiming too high… In order for my theory to work, I needed to remain realistic about what my limitations are ;-)
Score! Score!
Kathy Naumann, possessor of NATURALLY curly hair and the understanding that you can’t control everything!
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